The power that is generated from your spirit releases either negative or positive energy. Which energy is released depends on your state of mind and what is uppermost in your heart. Lack of forgiveness of yourself or others can cause problems, not only psychologically, but also physically. The negative state of your thoughts can literally make you ill; the cure? Forgiveness. Practicing forgiveness can have a very positive effect on your health. According to studies in the United States, people who have forgiven others experience lower levels of physical pain, anger, anxiety and depression. They also have a lower resting blood pressure and heart rate than people who do not forgive easily. Research also suggests that the ability to forgive yourself and others can boost your immune system and help you recover more quickly from illness and disease. Those people who find it easy to forgive were found to be more likely to work harder to resolve conflict. As a result they tended to have stronger relationships.
The first person we inevitably need to forgive is ourself. Our ability to move forward hinges on our capacity to let go of painful experiences in our past which may have caused remorse and regret. The longer we cling to past trauma, the more we generate an entirely new sequence of negative thoughts, emotions and actions. These can contribute to major difficulties in our lives and lead to distrust and pessimism in our relationships with friends and associates. Often when a stubborn problem does not yield it is because there is a need for forgiveness. A grudge remembered is a grudge unforgiven; however, when we forgive the grudge the body can relax and release the stress.
What do you focus on and think about each day? It is true that your daily thoughts will colour your existence either negatively or positively. What is in the heart will be spoken out of the mouth. Don’t let your ego get in the way of forgiveness. Many have been heard to say, “My un-forgiveness is justified”, however, regardless of how justified they may perceive it to be, a refusal to forgive, regardless of the situation, will inevitably have an undesirable and “negative” effect on their outcomes in life whether physically, relationally, emotionally and spiritually. It is a little known fact that when someone makes the choice to hold resentment or un-forgiveness against another, they are not hurting the person that they are holding the resentment against, but instead only hurting themselves. By demanding justice they are only maintaining their own punishment.
“All that we think becomes true for us. We must not then allow ourselves to think wrongly.” Emile Coue.
Whether the person who wronged you ever asks your forgiveness or not, you can only be free if you refuse to take offence and forgive that person anyway. Some of the greatest problems we encounter in life are “people problems”. We live in a world where personal communications can break down, where conflicts can arise between friends and loved ones, and where close ties may even be severed.
If we allow the negative power of unforgiveness to remain in our heart toward others, regardless of what they may have done against us, we open ourselves to “seven more negative powers” more deadly than unforgiveness. They are: resentment, ill-will, grudges, malice, retaliation, bitterness and hatred. If we examine this list of nasties we note that they are progressively more degrading and can take over our lives.
Often people associate forgiveness only with those major resentments they’ve been carrying against someone. True forgiveness, however, is also for all those “little” hurts and offences that cause you to go out of your way to avoid someone. It’s those memories that cause you to treat someone with less warmth and love because they have injured you in some way. Often the other person is totally unaware of any perceived hurt.
Some people don’t want to give up these things; they sometimes even enjoy hanging on to hurts and the feeling of power they think it gives them over the other person. There is a feeling of self-righteousness which says, “I don’t hate him, I just don’t like him”. How far outside love do you have to go before it is called hate? As far as that power deep within you is concerned, just one step outside of love is hate! You either give positive energy out to others or you give out negative energy. There are no shades of grey in between. There is a saying, “We must forgive our enemies if we ourselves expect forgiveness”. So make the decision today to forgive every little hurt as well as the big offences.
If we can resolve our past emotional issues by accepting that we are human and that we all have different experiences, we go a long way towards healing our wounds. This is part of emotional intelligence. Our past so often gets in the way of our future but if we can deal with it by truly forgiving ourself, this can be the first step toward healing. The healing process, however, comes with additional lessons to be learned such as taking responsibility for one’s actions and making amends.
Forgiveness is a choice. A choice to forgive or not is a choice that we have been provided the inalienable right of free will to exercise. When you hold a grudge, you are making the other person responsible for your happiness and allowing your anger toward them to control you. But when you forgive someone, you take responsibility for your own happiness and are no longer controlled by your anger.
If you made a choice to plant an apple seed you certainly would not expect to produce oranges from that original seed! No more can you expect to receive pleasing and positive life outcomes based on planting and nurturing seeds of resentment and un-forgiveness. From a more human perspective, if you plant “negative” seeds you will reap negative results. If you plant “positive” seeds, you will reap positive results.
So, do not waste time holding a grudge, even toward those who have treated you unjustly. You will meet such people along the way, as you rise toward success. Others may try to hold you down to a mediocre level and hurt you in some way. Forgive them and release them and move on. Nobody can keep your success from you but yourself. If just one of the people connected with the problem will start the action of forgiveness, all concerned will respond, be blessed and the solution will come. Forgiveness is operating in the present where hurt and anger are forgotten and so no longer hold power.
When you properly, consistently and “consciously” implement the power of forgiveness into your life, refuse to judge and choose to exercise an “attitude of gratitude” in whatever experiences you may encounter, you will experience your personal ability to attract and create your life in a positive manner.
The following ancient wisdom is not based on law as many perceive, but is profound and life changing. If you consciously and consistently apply it, it can and will change the entire course of your life. What is this ancient wisdom? “Judge and you will not be judged”.
To complete the healing process we need to learn to love and accept ourself for the great person that we are.
Love is, indeed, the only sure secret to good health and happiness. It never fails because it does not harbour anger, anxiety or resentments. Nothing works without it and there can be no failure with it. When we live by love, forgiveness becomes easy. By developing the ability to forgive and eliminate judgement unconditionally, you will have made tremendous and powerful progress in your ability to begin experiencing a life of ease, harmony and overall well being physically, financially, relationally, emotionally and spiritually.
It is not wise to convince yourself that you have forgiven someone when, deep down, you know you haven’t. Sincerity and honesty cannot be faked. Forgiveness needs to be a “forgetting” process where pain, anger and grief are left in the past and forgotten. We not only forget the ‘slight’ but forget that we have had to forgive. Nothing negative is remembered, the past is forgotten and emphasis is on the present and future.
Only real forgiveness, coming from deep within the heart and mind, can bring freedom to the emotions, and indeed, the whole body. Give the gift of forgiveness to the other person and you, too, will be free to be a happier person leading to a life filled with love, joy, harmony, fulfilment, profound inner peace and limitless prosperity.