If you are not convinced that there is power in NOW, watch children. They always live in the present and experience life to the fullest – that is all they know. They are not inhibited by the past or burdened by the future and they experience the fresh edge of wonder at each new discovery of our world.

As we grow into adults, however, that feeling of awe diminishes because we become caught up in the effort of survival and the demands of time. After a while this becomes a habitual mode of existence and our awareness of the world around us narrows because we are rarely fully present in the moment. We begin to function like sleep walkers in our waking life. We need to regain that sense of newness that children have.

Learn from children and do something which brings you total pleasure. Spend time with those you love and balance that time with ‘you’ time – quiet times when you can appreciate the people and world around you. You will soon find that you will be a more optimistic, happy person which allows more positive situations to come into your life.

Love and Forgiveness

I am going to spend some time speaking about forgiveness because it has such an important effect on loving and being loved. No one is perfect and everyone, many times during their life, will either deliberately (out of anger or frustration) or unknowingly will hurt someone else and we will all be hurt by others during our life’s journey. Either way, it is our attitude to others and our way of handling the anger and the hurt that will ultimately affect how we love ourselves and those around us.

If you hold on to revengeful or hurtful thoughts they will, unfortunately, add power to an already negative incident, prevent you from thinking freely and add new conflicts to an already difficult situation. Instead, be honest with yourself and accept responsibility for anything you might have done to make the situation worse and bring forgiveness and love into the equation.

What is forgiveness? The dictionary defines is as: to stop being angry about or resenting somebody’s behaviour; to pardon for a mistake or wrongdoing. By choosing to forgive you are able to shed the burdens of hurt, anger, grief and pain and allow yourself to heal. Healing helps you to recover and brings peace and freedom. True forgiveness can only come through love. Have you tried to forgive someone and found it difficult? You knew you were right, but was it worth being right at any cost? When you can’t forgive, the whole messy incident runs around and around in your brain like a never-ending tape. Your blood boils, your stomach churns and tenses into a knot and you feel ill with the stress. Have you noticed that angry and upsetting thoughts affect your whole body in a negative way? The longer you cling to these thoughts the more they will generate worse thoughts and emotions that will lead to negative actions which you may regret. At the very least you will feel as if you are in a locked room, unable to free yourself.

The key to opening the door to that prison is forgiveness and it leads to freedom of thought and wellness in body. It can be hard to say those words, “I forgive you” and the key seems to jam in the lock, but if you use the oil of love the key will turn, the door will open and you will be free. So, put an end to resentment and base your forgiveness on a will to love rather than on your feelings.

Refuse to dwell on old feelings. True forgiveness is not based on feelings. It certainly begins in the heart with understanding, perception and love then, through awareness, it bases itself in the mind and becomes an act of your will. That means that when you forgive someone you must decide that your forgiveness is permanent. Refuse to dwell on thoughts and feelings that are negative. Have you heard someone say, “I’ll forgive but I won’t forget!”? That is a second-rate kind of forgiveness and you shouldn’t settle for it. When you forgive, forget the wrong and move forward in love for that person. If you do that, the pain once caused by the incident will disappear as if nothing bad had ever happened between you. The power of love will wash away the effects of it and you’ll leave it behind once and for all.

Don’t keep an account of the wrongs you have suffered. Think about the other person and remember, we all want to be forgiven. Would you want the other person to remember all the mistakes you made? I am sure you wouldn’t, but don’t allow feelings of guilt to cloud forgiveness. If you have wronged someone, make things right and go straight away and apologise to that person face to face. When that person forgives you, don’t continue in guilt but allow the gift of forgiveness that has been given, free you to forget the incident and get on with life. It will open up a whole new world of love for you.

Forgiveness reconciles people to each other and love cements the bond. When you forgive someone it actually releases you from holding a grudge which can lead to bitterness. You cannot hold a grudge and sincerely love at the same time. A grudge or any negative thoughts will keep you powerless against the difficulties in your life and they will tend to build up. If your problems seem to be increasing, check to see if there is unforgiveness in your life. If there is, forgive that person and move forward in love. Forgiveness doesn’t deny responsibility for bad behaviour. It simply says, “I let go of the past and I will not hold the other person liable in any way”. This will have a positive effect on all other areas of your life and problems will begin to dissipate.

Give yourself the gift of loving forgiveness today and it will release you and transform your life into one of great blessing, peace and joy.


Love produces peace and happiness, patience and kindness in our lives. Love doesn’t envy others nor is it easily angered or frustrated. Love forgives and forgets when it is abused, hurt or lied to. Love does not take offence. Love’s power puts down strife and lifts up peace and harmony.





















1 Corinthians 13 v 4-8

How Love affects your life

I believe love begins in the womb and only ends as we depart this life. Every person on earth begins life with an openness and ability to give unconditional love. It is a fundamental core need of every human being and each life is affected by the amount of love they can give and receive.

Where love is conditional or missing entirely, it sparks a negative response in their attitude to life. Where there has been abuse instead of love in childhood, that behaviour will be repeated in adulthood because that is the only model of love they know. They will travel through life with a feeling of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Those children who grow up in a loving environment, however, will respond in an open and giving manner.

As we grow into adulthood and move into society, love or lack of it, can make or break careers and relationships. In the career arena there may be the need to prove yourself and sensitivity to rejection can lead to feelings of inadequacy and ultimately depression. This is where love for yourself, as well as the love and support of others can turn circumstances around and keep you happy and balanced, able to handle any difficulties which may arise. Rejection is something that originates within you and only you can turn those thoughts around. When you love yourself you will not allow negative feelings to take over; you will be able to act effectively and positively in any situation.

Research has proven that love is good for your health and that many illnesses have their beginnings in a lack of love. Arguments lead to bitterness which is quite toxic to your body and it is well known that a large proportion of people in hospitals have psychosomatic illnesses. This does not mean their illnesses are not real, but that their physical illness has been caused by mental factors such as stress or similar factors.

Strife is rife in society and in the world at large. Arguments, back-biting and gossip in the office, road-rage and frustration on the roads, criticism and temper-tantrums in the home; what happened to love, patience and forgiveness? Technology has moved ahead so fast and everyone is trying desperately to keep up. Unfortunately, far from giving everyone a better and easier lifestyle, technological advances seem to have caused frustration and stress and their many related illnesses. All this adds up to strife.

If you have been caught up in the mayhem step back, take a deep breath and try applying the power of love to difficult situations. Give love by being generous with your time and listen attentively to those who need an empathetic ear. Love and strife cannot live together, so choose love. It has far more power than strife and it brings peace very quickly to all situations.

If someone has hurt you or you find that you have overstepped the mark and caused anguish to others, bring forgiveness into the equation. Don’t let thoughts and emotions fester; forgive or ask forgiveness quickly and clear the air before the situation deteriorates even further.

When the spark of the power of love is kindled it can release positive energy into your own life and into the lives of others and change the way you see yourself and other people.

How to use love in your life

As already mentioned, love has unequalled power because it is an equalising, balancing, harmonising force that is always at work somewhere in the world. Love works on two levels; personal and impersonal. On the personal level you can generate love as an expression of kindness, gentleness, fondness, devotion and appreciation of those in your family and those in your circle of close friends. On an impersonal level, love is the ability to get along with people and having good will toward others without personal attachment. For example, if disharmony should arise at work where several people are involved, bring each person to mind, bless them with thoughts of goodwill and mentally see harmony restored in the situation. Show love to each of them. You may see misunderstandings fade and tempers cool. Impersonal love can also make a perfect stranger risk their own life to save the life of another human being. For example, a house catches on fire and a person passing the house can hear the owner screaming in terror inside the house. That person risks his/her own life to rush into the inferno to bring the terrified home owner safely out of the house. The saviour does not know the person in the house but risks their life to save someone in need. That is impersonal love.

As much as it is within your power, live in harmony and remain on good terms with everyone. Conduct yourself with wisdom and love towards others and let your speech always be with grace so you know how to respond to each other. When you make an effort to take an interest in and be concerned for, those around you – that is love in action. When you are in a difficult situation, release love into it and put it to work on the stubborn problems in your life. There is no reason why any of us can’t learn to generate love in the same way we generate other natural forces.

Use your love to focus on the needs of others instead of focusing inwardly on your own concerns to the detriment of others. This can be a difficult skill to learn if you are a person who likes to ‘hold the floor’ and let others know all about yourself. You are not being asked to lose yourself in the process, rather, show an interest in others and be prepared to patiently listen to them tell their story. Learn to be aware of the needs of those around you and be prepared to leave your own comfort zone to be there for someone who needs your love. When you “do to others what you would have them do to you”; when you involve yourself in the lives of other people, making their lives easier and more enjoyable, you reap the reward of the love that flows between you.

Eros Love

Eros was the Greek god of love and was a prominent god in Greek mythology. He was depicted as a young winged boy with bow and arrow ready to short arrows or darts in to the hearts of mortals. His arrows came in two types: golden with dove feathers to arouse love, or arrows made of lead and owl feathers that caused indifference. He could be bitter sweet and cruel or charming and he was depicted as very beautiful. He was, however, dangerous and unscrupulous. Eros is referred to in Homer’s Iliad as sexual desire. The Roman name for Eros, which you may recognise, was Cupid.

Down through the centuries eros love has always been used to mean romantic love and it is the root of the English word erotic. It is the attraction between the sexes and lovers may kiss and show affection, although this love is not necessarily sexual in nature as eros love can be a platonic love for another. Eros points to sensual love where two people, as lovers, are totally absorbed in each other in a romantic and spontaneous relationship. It encompasses the feelings of passion and desire and is often called “falling in love” although another name for such feelings is “puppy love”. Romantic love includes the chemical reaction that happens between two people, the sudden ‘spark’ that begins a relationship, the ‘blushing’ when given a compliment. Eros love on its own is typically fleeting and is often called infatuation; it tends to fade and usually it does not produce long-standing relationships as long as it stays romantic.

Cultural traditions often dictate the form a courtship will take yet romance can often exist within cultural limitations. In many countries over the centuries, and even today, men and women marry without the illusions of love and romance. They marry to continue the bloodlines, yet romance and love can exist either within the marriage or as an adjunct.

Many books have been written on the subject of eros love and Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet would be one of the best known. Over the last century, popular romance books have risen in popularity and films ensure their popularity by spicing up their stories with their concepts of romantic love affairs. Unfortunately, these books and films are giving a mistaken understanding of real love. Rather than just romantic love, with real love there is an attraction based on common interests and a genuine ‘liking’ for each other. It is good to be friends first (Phileo love) and understand the other person as well as love them. Possibly due to the connotations of romantic literature, many people expect passionate love to continue throughout their years of marriage and when this does not happen they become disheartened and disillusioned and sometimes end the marriage on that premise. The biggest mistake people make is to equate true love with eros love only.

The English word ‘erotic’ conjures up pictures of indulgent desire, often called ‘lust’. This is a base, unreasoning desire which is enticing, tempting and impulsive but it is also unstable, foolish and self-willed. Lust does no honour to either party and it is futile because it always leads to punishment. Lust is deceitful and harmful because those who flirt with it not only destroy themselves but those with whom they come in contact.

On the other hand, the highest form of eros love, the affection of romance, can transform into a permanent love if joined with Phileo, Storge and Agape forms of love. A good marriage moves forward from the passion of love and strengthens its foundations and builds on a close and understanding friendship based on a secure and committed love which puts the other person first and which deepens over time. Eros love on its own cannot form the basis for a strong marriage. It needs the Storge (pronounced stor-gay) kind of love which is marked by deep feelings of affection and is committed to the other person and also the Agape love which is the highest form of unconditional love for another. Without all three types of love in a marriage, you have a recipe for disaster.

Doing Business with Love

Business is often a forgotten area for showing love and many would say that, on the surface, love should be left at home when negotiating deals. It has been said success can only be achieved by the ‘hard-nosed’ business people who are aware of the ‘tricks of the trade’ and who ‘give no quarter’! Such an attitude is short-sighted and any success will either be short-lived or mediocre. Love is a key ingredient to having the ideal business.

Real success in business has love as its base and the love is expressed through honesty in dealing with others, high-quality products, service given for mutual benefit, giving the other person the benefit of the doubt and thoughtfulness and duty-of-care to employees.

Business people who use love in business are not being asked to check their brains in at the door. They still need to be ‘street-smart’ and aware that some business people are less than honest in their dealings and would prefer to survive at the expense of others. They understand, however, that businesses interact and that, in the long-run, they all need to relate and depend on each other.

Long term, your business prosperity depends on interacting with love and showing respect to everyone you are in contact with in business, from your business partners to the truck driver. Showing love means seeing to it that everyone benefits and prospers in some way from their business relationship with you. For example, if you sell a product, information or a service, make sure the price is right and there is a benefit there for those who purchase it.

Honesty is a very important expression of love in business; honesty with everyone you deal with such as business partners, employees, suppliers and customers. Each of you depend on each other and honesty will reap rewards for all parties. It engenders respect and appreciation and is usually repaid many times over.

Whatever your products, they should be priced fairly so that, if you are the manufacturer for example, there is room for a reasonable profit for everyone along the chain. This will provide a reasonable standard of living and happy participants in your business and happy participants are repeat business. Happy clients will help you build your business. So the circle continues and as you can see, we all relate to and depend on each other.

If another business needs your help in some way, be prepared to do what you can to be of service. Help given when it is really needed may bring more business to your office not only from the business you were able to help, but by other businesses who heard, usually by word of mouth, that your business is helpful. If some businesses are slow in paying you, it may be a good idea to speak with them to see if they have a good reason. An honest business will do all they can to pay their bills on time, but if someone is having a short term problem, you may both be able to come to an agreement.

Within your own business love and respect your employees. If you share your vision for the company with them you allow them to commit to that vision. There should be an open and honest relationship between everyone. You achieve this by providing good working conditions and being prepared to compliment work well done. It can be difficult to find good employees but when you have found one, show your appreciation. If you are an employee, give over and above what is required of you. A business is equally the employer and the employee/s. The business needs both and both need each other just as much as they both need customers. When employers and employees feel appreciated they are less likely to be competitive and will view each other as friends. Such a work environment can have a very positive impact on everyone’s wellbeing and should be cultivated. When people love their work they tend to love their colleagues and clients as well and productivity usually increases. Hours worked are getting longer and people are spending more time with colleagues at work than with their family. As the well-being of both employer and employee is of paramount importance for the business to succeed, this provides a good reason to make sure the work environment is peaceful and oriented toward a friendly love for each other.

It is important to understand that the attitude of those in charge will permeate down through the ranks and on to suppliers and customers. If the attitude is a narrow one, without thought for people and where the bottom line, the profit, is all that that drives the company, that is the attitude that will permeate right through the company and it will eventually become known in the industry. On the other hand, if the attitude is more rounded and the wellbeing of everyone along the chain is taken into account, the chain will remain strong and prosperity will be available to all.

I knew a farmer who, during a prolonged drought, decided to sell most of his sheep. A prospective buyer looked at the sheep and offered a price which was much lower than the farmer would normally have received for his sheep. However, the price was agreed on by both men and they shook hands on the deal. There was no signed legal document. As the buyer was from interstate, he asked the farmer if he would be prepared to keep the sheep for a further few weeks until he could organise transport. The farmer agreed although there was little feed available. A week later it rained heavily over the district and within a few days the paddocks were carpeted with plenty of green sheep feed. The sheep grew fat and the prices went up. Friends of the farmer suggested he back out of the deal with the interstate buyer as he would now get far more for his sheep than had been agreed upon. The farmer shook his head and said since he had agreed to the price and shaken hands on the deal he would not go back on his word. Everyone knew that the farmer would need to pay a much higher price to re-stock his land but they also knew that the farmer’s word could be trusted and that he would always do the right thing by others. It wasn’t about the deal; it was about the farmer’s attitude to his fellow man. His love and respect for others meant he could only be true to himself and make sure that his promise stood firm.

That is the honesty and a love of your fellow man that is required in business and it inspires respect and love in return. We need more business people such as this to have the strength to set an example. When business is based on a foundation of love and respect, it cannot fail.

Birth to Childhood

The need for love is built into us from the womb. While in the womb a child senses the closeness of the mother and responds to the voices of parents. At birth, contact with mother cements the love and unconditional love is born. Babies are completely open and trusting; they love and expect to be loved. They know nothing about conditional love so they do not measure love and they do not judge. If a new-born baby is startled, the child’s arms will fly up and out, then clutch desperately for something to hold on to; they innately know that holding and being held is good. It is well-known that a baby who is not held and is not shown love fails to thrive. This was made starkly obvious during the years when large orphanages were in vogue around the world. In some institutions where babies were rarely picked up and cuddled it was later shown that the lack of nurture caused many to die, even though they were fed enough to sustain life. Babies, even today, who do not receive stimulation and love in the first year are at risk of poor brain development and social skills. This need for love is something we do not outgrow and the ability to form close bonds is shaped by our early experiences.

Physical contact – the intimate cuddling, stroking and playing together – is very precious for babies and older children and that feeling of warmth, of being wanted and loved, stays with each of us as we grow into adults. In Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz says, “It is not the child who is taught about love but the child who has experienced love that grows into a healthy, happy, well-adjusted adult.” People are affected all their lives by the amount of love they received as a child, or the amount they failed to receive.

Most parents would be horrified if they were told their children did not feel loved and cared for. The reason can be the difference between how children need love to be shown to them and the way adults show love. As parents we need to show our love in our actions as well as our words because children are behaviourally motivated and adults are more verbally oriented. For example, a child cannot fully comprehend the words, “I love you” until they are much older. Certainly, parents should use those words, but they should be followed up with actions such as hugging and gentle touching and by showing love in how they look at a child. Loving eye contact is very powerful to a child.

Genuine love is unconditional and this is the kind of love a child needs. They need to know they are loved, even if they have done something wrong. This does not mean they should be allowed to get away with doing wrong because children crave boundaries to make them feel safe. Focused attention and loving discipline, on the other hand, can make a child feel they are the centre of their parents’ world and they will grow up with a healthy self-esteem and a love and respect for others. If you want your children to find true happiness, teach them to love the ‘agape’ kind of love where they love completely and selflessly by making themselves a gift to others.

Building your Self-Esteem

Raising your own self-image is paramount as a prelude to being able to love yourself. How can it be done? First, it is important to ask for help when making such an important paradigm change in your life. It is wise to speak with someone you trust absolutely; a family member, a close friend you have known for a very long time, or if there is no-one close to you that you could speak to, be courageous and speak with a professional counsellor. Tell yourself over and over again that you do deserve to love and trust yourself.

Second, forget the past. This is a hard one, but it is very important. As you move forward toward loving yourself, your mind may try to play tricks with you and remind you of all your failures and weaknesses. Don’t allow your mind to focus on your past mistakes. Instead, live in the present (after all, every day is a gift) and  look forward to the future in a positive manner.

Third, don’t allow yourself to be your own worst enemy and don’t criticise you when you feel you haven’t lived up to the picture you have of yourself. Throw out all negative thoughts and refuse to think badly of yourself and others. It is important to keep love for others in the loop or your love for yourself may become egotistical and self-serving. Instead, appreciate, cherish and respect yourself. Growing love inside you will produce self-respect, honesty, trust, enthusiasm, kindness, contentment, empathy, hope, faith, peace, happiness and success. When love is uppermost in your thoughts your life will change for the better and you can start being your best friend instead of your worst enemy.

Fourth, when you have travelled through a difficult or negative patch and defeated it, reward yourself in some way. Tell yourself you deserve to feel good and soon you will believe the truth and respect yourself.

Fifth, learning to love yourself when you have always beaten yourself down can be stressful. Make the time for rest and relaxation and keep healthy. As you relax, visualize and then write down all the things that you like about yourself (come on, now, think hard) and compliment yourself often. Remember, you create your world and you can do anything.

Sixth and finally, accept yourself with all your weaknesses and flaws (after all, everyone has them, not just you) and come to an understanding that you are special and unique. When you are prepared to open up and share your love around you will find (and this may surprise you at first) that you are loved and fully accepted in return. It is then you will find the world is your oyster and that your potential is unlimited. There is a saying, “Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you will find
yourself doing the impossible.” When you love and accept yourself completely, you will not feel the need to sacrifice your needs in order to be loved and you will not feel dependent on or vulnerable to the requirements of others. Instead, you can feel confident and love others with all their faults and differences.

Learn all these lessons with a light and happy heart and keep laughter in your life. This way the path to loving yourself will be easier. Accept personal responsibility for making your life a better, more enjoyable experience by loving yourself and making a conscious decision to be happier and more fulfilled in every aspect of your life.


Agape Love

This is the “God kind of love”, the highest form of love, which never fails. Agape is eternal and sacrificial and overflows from deep within the human spirit. It is a love that is joyful and spiritual with a deep, unconditional commitment to mankind. It manifests in our acts of charity and service to others and includes those whom we do not know and perhaps do not even like. It loves the unlovable. For this reason Agape is not an impulsive love, generated by feelings. Rather it is an exercise of the will, a deliberate choice to make a decision and take action in love, made for the good of another; thus it is a love based in the mind.

In today’s selfish and thoughtless society Agape love may be a difficult concept to understand because it has a benevolent nature which requires selflessness in caring for and seeking the best for others, regardless of the circumstances. It transcends differences in race and cultures and shares a commitment to an unconditional, unlimited love for all people.

Agape love seeks out the highest good for everyone, without regard to whether they are good or bad. It is a love that is not necessarily deserved by the recipient, whether by their words, actions or attitudes; it is given as a blessing without condition of any kind. Agape love sees all people as precious and it doesn’t depend on the other person returning the love given. It enables someone to love another person, no matter what that person does to them. It is self-giving, always forgiving and it never changes.

Agape love is always followed by action, in obedience to the need that presents itself. There are those in this world with just that kind of love, working with the poor and the forsaken; people stripped from their lands and those suffering from diseases which isolate them from society, such as lepers and those with A.I.D.S. Agape love says, “I will give up my time and I will live for others. I will give the love I have in me and I will be strong and lift up those who are weak. I will count it a privilege to share myself and the love within me with those in need.”

None of us, however, should fail to show agape love to those within our personal sphere of influence. It is too easy to say, “Working with the underprivileged of other countries is wonderful for those who can do it but it is not my scene” and so sidestep our own responsibilities to those around us. It is as necessary to show agape love to our family as it is to show it to the destitute on the other side of the world. Most of us know someone who is ill or having difficulty raising a family on too few funds. There are many people with life-threatening or debilitating illnesses who depend on carers, perhaps another member of the family. Those carers would be showing agape love day after day, some for many years.

We all need and want love to be shown to us, but if we are prepared to put away selfishness and put on selflessness by showing agape love to anyone with needs who crosses our path in life, we will find that, without asking, we receive a hundredfold back in love and appreciation.

Agape love in action is a different kind of power; a revolutionary kind of love. It makes us master of ourselves and every situation and it is the secret to our success.

Agape love – the love most people want to give and receive and which so often we spend our lives wanting to do it but not always willing to go “the extra mile” to attain it – embodies good-will, kindness, forgiveness, compassion and a complete gift of yourself to someone else (sacrifice). Agape is never-ending and life-giving. It may seem difficult to attain but, oh, it is so worth-while if you would only step out of your comfort zone and “give it a go”.


Our English word ‘love’ is all-encompassing and doesn’t fully explain the many facets of the meaning of love. We have to go to the Greek language for an explanation of all love’s characteristics and qualities to help us fully understand its creative power. As Norman Vincent Peale said, “…(love) is the cohesive force that binds people together in understanding”.