It may be stating the obvious, but sometimes the line between being faithful and unfaithful can be blurred, particularly if partners have different sets of values. Being unfaithful to your spouse may not be as blatant as having an intimate relationship with another person.
It is important to establish, early in your relationship, what you consider to be “being unfaithful.” You may consider having a coffee with a female colleague after work to be perfectly innocent on your part, but your wife may feel differently. Or your wife may have a male friend, who has been an important part of her life for many years, and they go to the movies together or meet for lunch occasionally, and you may be fine with that. As husband and wife, you must state what your expectations are of each other and what you will be happy with and what you won’t.
That said, if your wife doesn’t want you to keep meeting with that female colleague for coffee, you continuing to do so is, in fact, being unfaithful to her, even if it is a purely platonic situation on your part. You may have no interest in anything other than friendship with the woman, but if it makes your wife uncomfortable, it should not continue. Should you decide that your wife is being unreasonable and you continue to meet the woman without telling her, you are creating a whole new set of complications that creep into unfaithful behaviour whether that is your intention or not.
People say that unfaithfulness in a marriage may stem from a number of factors. This may be true. However, there really is no need for it to happen. The basic principle is that you have made a vow to your spouse to stay faithful. If you are not happy in your relationship, if you feel something is lacking, if you feel your partner is cheating on you – discuss it with your partner, seek help or end it. Unfaithful behaviour is never justified, whether you are feeling neglected by your wife or not.
Being unfaithful eliminates the element of trust from your relationship. If it happens once, as far as the other party goes, it can happen again. It is hurtful and can permanently damage a relationship.
Staying faithful to your wife means you don’t give her any reason to be concerned about what you are doing or where you are. Likewise, you should trust her and not question what she does and where she goes if she is with her friends.
As mentioned above, establish the ground rules, and don’t break them