Your Child Made A Mistake

Your father died and you have had to make urgent plans to travel interstate. You and your spouse are upset but you try to get everything done in time to be able to get away. It is a difficult time packing and cleaning house and organising the children. You are beginning to stress out because time is short and the children are not co-operating.

You have just finished cleaning the kitchen when your 5 year old runs into the kitchen and goes to the refrigerator for some milk. As he pulls out the bottle it slips through his fingers and falls to the floor, shattering and spilling milk everywhere. You are already upset because of your father’s death and stressed because your time is short and you should be leaving soon. There is milk over everything in the refrigerator; it is all over the floor and up the cupboards. As well, you are going to have to move the refrigerator and mop up the milk that has gone all the way to the back. You know you have to clean it properly or there will be an awful smell through the house when you arrive home in a week’s time. You think of the time it will take to clean up. You are ready to explode and then you see the look of utter devastation on his little face as he says “I didn’t mean to. It was a accident”. What do you do?

You can go ahead and explode, yell at the child and call him names and even spank him but what good would that do? Does it clean up the mess? What it will do is cause further pandemonium which sends your stress levels through the roof. You could spank your son but that just causes fear and it teaches nothing about learning from the mistake. It merely invites the child to hide other mistakes or to strike back if he dares. His resultant anger or hurt may cause him to hit his siblings (after all, you started it by hitting him) or taking it out on the cat. Your aggressive approach may also lead to a cycle of disagreements with your child where everything he does is wrong and you keep pointing it out. All this negative activity will cause the child more grief and then you will have to spend time calming him down later. That is time you do not have and it is not a good start for everyone travelling together on a long journey in a vehicle. Remember, every aggressive thought you have will attract another problem and every helpful thought you have will attract good things.

As upset as you are, you need to be able to say “So what! The accident has happened so let’s get on with it and all help to clean up the mess”. After all, it’s not what has happened that matters most; it is how you feel about what has happened that is important. You should calm down, get down on your haunches to the child’s level and call him over to you. Make sure there is a smile on your face and give him a big hug and tell him you love him and that you understand it was an accident. It is wise to understand that it has been a shock for him as well as everyone else; however, it would be unhelpful to make excuses for him (“Oh, he is only 5”). That will only teach the child to make excuses when he makes other mistakes. At the same time, call your spouse to bring a mop and bucket and ask everyone in the family to help with the cleaning. Make it a positive family time together and take a stand against strife.

Have your 5 year old help too. He may be able to use some kitchen paper or a sponge to help clean the cupboards. You will have to wash them down afterwards, but you are including him in the clean up and he will feel he is doing something to make up for his mistake. If everyone helps and no-one is allowed to apportion blame, the kitchen will be cleaned up in a very short time and you will be back on track to make the journey.

Teaching your child to do things more slowly to avoid making mistakes and creating accidents is better done later in a calm and happy atmosphere rather than in an atmosphere of guilt and punishment. Mistakes and accidents are a part of life and you, as a parent, can help your children grow up in an atmosphere of love and with a sense of safety and peace.

Whenever your child does something naughty they must know there are consequences of their action. However, always make it quite clear that the consequences are as a result of the misdemeanour and they have nothing to do with your love for the child. Always let them know you will never take your love away and always show that love. Children learn by your actions, not by what you say. If you always show love and respect for your children they will love and respect you in return.

Keep Strife Out Of Your Life

As you live each day, take a stand against strife and contention; they are the most common problems which can destroy your relationships, not only in the home but in your social and business life. Life is for you to live today and the way you live it will determine how happy or miserable you are. Most of us want to be happy but too often we seem to find something to complain about, dwelling on the faults of those around us and becoming irritable and grumpy. We don’t purposely let strife in; it just slips through any door left slightly ajar by allowing minor irritations to build up one at a time. If you have a tendency to let things irritate you, decide to overcome that tendency by consciously staying in a position of peace. There will always be people who annoy you or who go out of their way to bait you. Don’t let those people take away your peace because it is important for your well-being.

So how can you live a happy life? It means making a decision to be happy and proactive and to accept things as they are in your life. That doesn’t mean that if life is throwing up difficulties now you are happy to stay that way. It means that you accept where you are and use that as a starting point to find a way out of whatever difficulties you have. First of all, make a decision to lift yourself out of your present situation by being cheerful and appreciative of all the good things around you. You will find that you become what you think about. So to have a better life you first need to change your thoughts. Throw out your mental list of people’s faults, don’t resent what other people do and cease complaining about others; you will then be in a better position to think clearly about overcoming your own difficulties. When you can remain patient and aware of what is happening you will be able to think more clearly and you will avoid making wrong decisions and taking wrong actions.

Live In The Present

Our journey of life must be lived in the now. We can learn from children who always live in the present and they experience life to the full because ‘now’ is all they know. They are not inhibited by the past or burdened by the future; they experience the freshness of wonder and they are in awe at each new discovery of our world. They learn quickly because they naturally use visualisation and imagination when they play games.

As we grow into adults that feeling of awe diminishes because we become caught up in the effort of survival and the demands of time. We experience many low points and disappointments and often feel that the contractions of life outweigh the expansion periods. If we are not careful these periods can imprison us and change our attitude from a happy outlook of enjoyment, optimism and peace to a discouraging frame of mind which allows cynicism and lack of motivation to take over our life. James Rohn says, “For some people, their past deeds have charted a course which threatens to imprison their future and yet they do not take corrective and immediate action”. It is dangerous to allow the drift of neglect to continue unabated.

Our journey through life will include failures and disappointments which often inhibit our picture of today. We feel the aches and pains of past hurts but unconsciously nurture those thoughts of the past by allowing them to rise into our daily consciousness and by constantly dwelling on them. The passing of time then leaves us in a worse condition, not better. Continue to be aware of the thoughts you are harbouring and consciously change from thinking of the past and, instead, focus on what you can do in the present moment. Don’t worry about what you should have done a month ago or what you might be able to do next week. The only time you can affect is the present. If you speculate too much about the past or the future you won’t get anything done. Tomorrow or next week frequently turns into never. It is better if you consciously form thoughts in the present for the future you want. Disbelief and mistrust look at past troubles and say, “See, it can’t be done”; faith and confidence in the future says, “It can be done and I will do it”. If you replace thoughts of past mistakes with hope for the future the pain of past hurts will quickly disappear.

“It is good to appreciate that life is now. Whatever it offers, little or much, life is now, this day, this hour.” (Charles Macomb Flandreau)

Whether you understand it or believe it or not, what you are doing at this moment will determine where you will be in three months time. Make a conscious effort to focus and concentrate on what you are doing ‘now’. If what you have been doing is productive, that is good as the key is to continue to focus on things that are working and you will feel good about your results.

You Lose A Leg

You were involved in a car accident that was not your fault and you were trapped in the vehicle for a very long time, in agony and afraid the car would go up in flames. When you were eventually freed you were sedated. It was a relief to wake up in hospital until you found that you had been operated on and they had had to remove your leg. It took a while for the magnitude of what had happened to sink in, but when it did, shock set in and you mourned the loss of that leg. Life as you had known and loved it was over. The pain and anguish was immense; the struggle had begun.

It is no small thing to have a limb amputated. There are many challenges beyond the physical pain and loss. There are the emotions which have to be dealt with and the feeling of possibly being a social pariah. Often, finances are a major difficulty. All these things can affect your ability to think clearly and solve problems.

Physically, there will be the pain from probably the largest cut you may ever have and it may be difficult in the early days for the body to fight off any infection that may occur. Then there is the other limb which will need constant exercise so that it doesn’t grow weak from disuse. You may be thinking about how you are going to get along without your limb and you will be unsure about how you will cope with the changes necessary in your lifestyle.

Your emotions will be the most difficult to control. Doctors say people may experience feelings of anger (at all and sundry) anxiety, shock, denial, helplessness and sometimes hopelessness, all of which can lead to depression. Many amputees are fearful and feel overwhelmed by the whole episode. You may even feel like a pendulum, ranging from optimism to despair and experiencing the full gamut of emotions in between. All the worries, concerns and uncertainties cause stress and anxiety. The important thing to remember is that worries are natural and predictable reactions.

So what are you going to do? Your future is intrinsically bound up in your attitude to life and all that happens on that journey. You have had a major shock and your loved ones and closest friends will be there to give you their support. However, your future is ultimately in your own mind as you go through all the negative emotionsanger, pessimism, rejection, defeatism, fear, horror, etc – and make a decision to either give up and feel sorry for yourself or take your own thoughts in hand and decide you will beat the negativity that keeps welling up inside you. If you give in to stress and anxiety it will inhibit your recovery.

The most destructive emotion you may feel at this time is anger. You may be directing it at yourself for getting into a situation which led to the amputation, or it may be directed at others. It is important that you recognise that the anger comes from frustration and from the feeling you have lost control of your life. You need to take yourself in hand and get over the anger because it uses up valuable energy which should be going into your recovery. Other emotions which use up energy are deep sadness and depression as you exaggerate the problems you think the amputation is likely to cause you. Most people are able to snap out of these negative emotions and reach a stage of acceptance as they face the facts and get on with their lives and that is what you will need to do if you are to concentrate on the healing and rehabilitation process.

Obviously there is no instant fix with an amputation and you will go through many intense feelings and emotional traumas in the early stages. There is, however, a lot of help available from professionals who help amputees every day and who understand what you are feeling. As you move through the various emotional stages, take stock of your thoughts. Try to bring them under control as soon as you can and determine to find true meaning and purpose for yourself. The way you think, the attitude you adopt, will determine the quality of your life post rehabilitation.

If you have a negative self-image of how you will manage after you complete rehabilitation you may turn to a dependent lifestyle using the amputation as an excuse. If you have a positive self-image you may find that you are developing a greater feeling of strength in the effort to overcome the loss of your leg. So you can’t blame anyone else – your welfare is entirely in your hands (or your mind) and it is necessary for you to say “So what” it has happened and I am by no means the only person to have a leg amputated. I can find new things to do, I am emotionally strong and I now realise what is important to me”.

You can gain control of your life again and the sooner you start making decisions for yourself the sooner you will join the mainstream of life. You should be quite clear about what you are capable of doing and where you will need ongoing help. As you become used to your different lifestyle and regain your independence, you will be less frustrated and more comfortable about asking for help where it is needed.

Appreciate what you have, instead of thinking about what you have lost. And don’t forget to thank and appreciate the hospital staff, your family and all your friends who are helping you rebuild your life. They are the ones who will put a smile on your face and love in your heart during a stressful time.

Leave the past in the past and focus on the present and your future. It may also help to interact with amputees who are similarly “future” focussed and to study others, through books and video, who have refused to be beaten and who have risen to great heights in sport and other areas despite their loss of a limb.

You can turn your disability around and instead of being emotionally disabled as well, you can cultivate a positive attitude within yourself and help inspire and motivate other people to realise that a disability or amputation is not the end of the world. Instead, as you adjust to your new life, it can be an exciting new beginning for you as you overcome challenges and open up new opportunities and goals for success.

Leave The Past In The Past

Leave the past behind you and live in the present. The past cannot be changed so it is futile to waste energy on regrets or things said or done by you or others in years gone by. Regrets hold you back and can prevent the most wonderful things happening in your life. Forgive yourself and others for without forgiveness you cannot accept abundance in your life. Use the past only to learn from your mistakes and keep it in context with your life now. What happened in the past is over and if you want your life to be empowered you must let it go and allow it to be just a fading memory. You must learn to say, “So what” what can I do to give myself a better future, and move on. There is a saying, “you cannot drive toward the future if you are always looking in the rear-vision mirror”. That means if you have lost your job, don’t look back. If your marriage has failed don’t look back. Don’t blame other people and don’t blame yourself. It does no good to dwell on bad results or to think about what you don’t want to happen. If you do that you merely act as a magnet and draw more bad results and all the those things you didn’t want into your life and it will be like a whirlpool, going around and around your negative centre of gravity until you drop like a stone into the centre of depression.

Instead, focus on where you want to go and visualise what you want your future to be like. Keep a clear picture in your mind and play it over and over to yourself. You will find you are empowered to take the necessary action each day to achieve your aim.

Empowered people are people with a sense of assurance, enthusiasm and well-being, who accept that they cannot change the past. They know they make their future by what they do today and they refuse to create worries and fears for that future. Empowered people recognise that the past and the future are memories and thoughts and today is their reality. By living today well they do the most within their power to make tomorrow better. You can empower yourself by following their lead.

A Major Disappointment

It is just before Christmas and you were asked to a party at an upmarket restaurant and while walking through the foyer you slipped on a fruit drink spilt by a staff member and broke your leg. Now in theatre circles when they tell an actor to “break a leg” they don’t mean it literally. They mean that the actor should “have a wonderfully successful night and have the audience eating out of your hand”. To break a leg literally is something quite different and a lot more painful!

The very act of breaking your leg means that you will be on crutches and possibly have to use a wheelchair for at least three months. You also know it will entail a lot of physiotherapy when you are back on your feet. In the meantime the accident means you will have to curtail many things you intended doing. For example, you intended to travel interstate to spend Christmas with your family and you had a lot of things organised with them.

You are within your rights to be very angry at the members of staff who were quite negligent, not only in spilling the drink but failing to make sure no customer went near the wet area while someone organised the clean up. Not only has it wrecked your restaurant experience, it will interfere with your life for the next 3-4 months.

How do you react? Does anger well up inside you; do you feel trapped and frustrated? Do you take out your frustration on the dog and others around you? Perhaps you think these things always happen to you and that you are always unlucky? Such reactions will only make the situation worse for you. It is like being stuck in quicksand with no way to move forward to a bank that is just out of reach.

You can spend the next 3-4 months wallowing in self-pity, thinking about what might have been and expecting everyone around you to wait on you hand and foot and generally making life difficult for others, as well as yourself, or you can change your attitude and change your life. A cheerful disposition will, for a start, make you a much nicer person to be around during a difficult time and your determination to master a burdensome situation will encourage those around you.

Dealing with a disappointment is meant to help you grow and to remind you of your priorities. You might find that it is actually fortuitous that you did not travel at Christmas and you may be able to organise a better time in the future to be with family. Perhaps there is a special birthday coming up and if you were there at Christmas you would not have been able to make the trip for a very special time later that cannot be repeated.

A broken leg may also give you a chance to be proactive. Think of the books you can read and the rest you can get. It can also give you time to finish things that have previously been put aside and not completed. You can make those phone calls and contact friends and family you have been meaning to get in touch with for months. Most importantly it can be a time when you reconnect with your family and spend much needed time in each other’s company.

When a disappointment arises, check your thoughts. Is your thinking defeatist or resolute? Are you thinking only of yourself or are you thinking of others? What are you concentrating your effort on; the disappointment or making the most of the time you have been given? When you are prepared to focus on the up-side of a difficult situation you are making a choice to say, “So what! This will pass”, and stay in control of your life. When you are back on your feet again you will be able to look back and laugh about the situation and the vagaries of life.

Patterns and Choices

Everyone has a different perception of life so everyone’s view of reality is different and it all comes down to the thinking patterns we use in our day to day lives. Some people will look at a situation and see wonderful possibilities and others will look at the same situation and see only doom and gloom. Our life, therefore, is governed by the choices we make and the patterns of life that result from those choices. The direction of your life, including what you achieve and what you receive, is entirely dependent on your thinking and your thoughts are shaped by your self-image.

A very nice young lady in our area became engaged to a man well-known for his drunkenness and carousing. No one could understand why that well-liked young lady with high moral standards would be interested in such a person. They married and over the years life became more and more difficult for the family. He constantly came home drunk, and although he did not hurt her physically in any way, his whole attitude to life caused a great deal of mental anguish to the family. Despite her difficulties that young lady stood by her husband. He died fairly young from alcoholism and everyone thought that now the wife would be free to make a new and better life for herself. Within a few years she married another man but unfortunately the pattern of that lady’s thinking had not changed. Her second husband was also a man who enjoyed drinking and he, too, often came home drunk. As with the first husband, it was necessary for her to be the bread-winner and she has spent her whole life working hard. How many people have you known who did the same thing? That lady’s life could have been changed for the better if she had only known that she had the choice to change her life’s pattern for the better.

How many times have you heard of lottery winners who spent all the money they won in only a short time and ended up back where they started before the lottery windfall? They sabotaged their own prosperity by maintaining their life pattern of thinking they were not good enough; by thinking they did not deserve the money. Some have said they had to get rid of the money so they could feel better about themselves and they were actually happy to be back in “battlers’ alley”.

Our thoughts determine how we feel and how we act so if we create a pattern of gloomy, pessimistic and doubt-filled thinking we are likely to have a poor self-image. Our reality then becomes a self-perpetuating pattern of insular thinking followed by problems plaguing us in our work and in our relationships. To such people life can become overwhelming and an attitude of dependency grows and is reinforced by a repetitive cycle which keeps them in a loop from which they cannot extricate themselves. If that is a picture of you, it is important to understand that you do have a choice and it is never too late to change your thinking. It is a matter of wanting to change and being prepared to learn the steps to successfully make it happen. You can control your thinking and resultant attitudes instead of allowing it to control you and you can train your mind to focus on the good things in life rather than dwelling on the bad. The decision to change is up to you and how honest you are prepared to be with yourself.

If you can make changes to your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs your life will begin to change. If you decide against making important changes you will keep doing the things that are obviously not working.

Your past thoughts, attitudes and beliefs that control your emotions, actions and behaviours led to the patterns of thinking and behaviour you have now. Those patterns will either stunt your growth as a person or enhance it. What happens around you in your outside world will result in certain automatic thoughts based on your beliefs and attitudes. Those thoughts can cause particular feelings to surface which may lead to behaviour or an action response. Remember, you have a choice to decide if (a) action is appropriate at all and (b) if you do act how you should act, before action is taken. It all comes down to being aware of your thoughts and where they are leading you. Everyone has the choice to change their thoughts for the better so create an awareness of your thoughts and actions and choose vibrant life, optimism and thoughtfulness for others. When you can see a clear and positive pattern running through your life and your self-image is one where you love and accept yourself, you will be at peace. Nothing is by chance, you have a choice.

I am sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction. It says that what we think about most we attract and we attract what we feel. In these times stress is a major problem in all areas of society and stress is caused by fear; usually fear of what might happen. For example, on the way to work you think about the assignment you were given and you are concerned you haven’t done enough and that it isn’t what was required by your employer. You need time to change it and you say to yourself … if there’s one thing I don’t need it’s the boss asking to see what I have done today. And what happens? Of course, the boss wants to see what you have done – today! We attract what we fear.

Do you continually have thoughts that `you are not good enough, or that you are a lesser person than those around you? If you do, people will treat you as you treat yourself. Get rid of that attitude – you are as good as the next person and you must see yourself as equal. Check your thoughts. What are they telling you? If they are negatively geared and you keep repeating those thoughts you will reinforce their effect and your behaviour will not change. Thus you will continue to draw to you the same circumstances and their outcomes as you have always attracted. Fear is the opposite of faith and while you entertain fear you cannot have faith in yourself. Throw fear out and replace it with faith in your abilities.

It is dangerous to focus on what you don’t want. Don’t always think about the terrible things people do or say to you and don’t talk about all your aches and pains. Instead keep a pleasant disposition so that your thoughts are cheerful, agreeable and happily expectant of good things coming your way. Remember, your thoughts create your circumstances.

To succeed in living a life full of promise it is important to create a pattern of affirmative, constructive and optimistic thinking beginning with yourself. Each day visualise yourself as enthusiastic, energetic, confident and expectant of good things. Focus on what you want for visualisation can be quite powerful. Generate an attitude which acknowledges you as a special person (without being egotistical) who is capable of great things for your every thought and action stems from the way you see yourself. Love yourself and you will be able to love others. Have faith in yourself and you will have faith in others. Feel good about yourself and others will be well-disposed and friendly toward you. Such an attitude will lead you to emotional security and success. As you develop the habit of making the right choices it will initiate a pattern of success. It would be wise, however, to start small and get the little things right first. Aim for small successes and as you develop the habit of succeeding, lift your aim higher. As mentioned earlier, success is governed by your self-image and attitude, by the choices you make and by the skills you master. Once set in motion, practical and affirmative strategies can mould your experiences and shape your future, giving you a higher quality of life.

When disappointments happen and life gets tough, concentrate on living just one day at a time. Instead of saying, “Why me?” and falling into a mire of helplessness, keep your thoughts and words upbeat and cheerful. Don’t apportion blame to others; after all we are in charge of our own life and attitudes.

You Have Lost Your Job Due To Downsizing

The loss of your job can not only be a major disappointment, but if you allow it, it can become a major crisis. It is quite a challenge for you to face because how you deal with such a loss is what will determine whether you are a confident person in control of your life or simply a victim of circumstances. What are you telling yourself? Has your personal world come to an end or do you see it as an opportunity to change the direction of your life for the better? The measure of us all is how we handle devastating events in our lives.

When you lose your job it can be a rude awakening and for some people, their world can become full of emotional trauma; emotions include shock, anger, rejection and denial. They feel powerless and worthless with the result they have withdrawal symptoms because they don’t want to face anyone with the news. To many people the loss of face is almost worse than the loss of their income. The feeling of not being wanted can be unbearable and result in an over-reaction to everything and everyone who made this loss happen.

You are angry at the boss for naming you as someone they could do without and you start playing the blame game by telling everyone who will listen, “it’s his entire fault”. You are angry also because you gained a lot of your identity from your job; you knew who you were and what you were doing for a large portion of your time.

Now you have a choice. You can continue the spiral down to depression and continue to deny or resist the necessary changes that will have to be made or you can adapt and take the opportunity for change with both hands. Whatever your reaction it is important to realise that change, however it may happen, is a part of life and your attitude will play a large part in how well you make the change. There is no point in dwelling on the problem. Instead, keep an upbeat attitude and focus your efforts on what you can do next towards finding another job. After all, attitude is the way you think about something so to change your attitude you must first change your thoughts which will change the way you feel about something and that in turn will change your actions.

It is important to let those closest to you know what has happened as soon as possible so that you can get emotional support. It is not the time for misplaced pride as the support of loved ones can be the most important part of your recovery.

It doesn’t matter how badly treated you have been, it is important that you leave the job with dignity and show that you are emotionally stable. Feeling sorry for yourself does not go down well in the workplace. There is no place for bitterness and you should never speak to friends or your next employer in a negative fashion about your workplace or former employer; that would be unprofessional.

Keep well away from the “woe is me” attitude which is inward looking. Keeping a smile on your face can be difficult while wondering how you will get through the day worrying about money and putting food on the table. Worrying has never ever helped a bad situation. Only action can do that and you can’t activate your mind while you are worrying. You will need a new agenda and a “pity party” should not be part of it. Instead, re-organise your day and keep fit and eat properly.

Keep an open mind and don’t limit your possibilities to what you have been doing previously. See this as a time as an adventure which can open up new horizons for you. Determine to take on new challenges and begin looking for another job which best suits your skills. If it is necessary to take another job in the meantime, just to keep the bills paid, be prepared to do that and keep an eye out for the job you would really like. Look at emerging growth industries to see if there is a place for you there to use your skills. Be prepared to network your friends and acquaintances to help you penetrate into an organisation. After all, the old saying “it’s not what you know but who you know” can be quite correct. It is well known that 90 per cent of all jobs are found through networks rather than through job advertisements. You don’t ask these people for a job, you merely let them know you are looking and listen to their advice. If your skills knowledge and experience are up to it, you may even be able to start your own business. If your skills need upgrading, perhaps this could be a good time for more education.

While you are looking for another job, be prepared to use your skills to help in a volunteer capacity to help those less fortunate than yourself. Yes, there are people worse off than you. Besides, it keeps up your skills and often connects you with another network.

You may need to attend quite a few job interviews so patience may be required. It can be difficult to keep an upbeat attitude when you find yourself out of work for an extended period of time; however, it is imperative that your attitude is optimistic, both for your own emotional well-being as well as for the impression you give to potential employers.

As the saying goes, when one door closes another opens and if you can keep aware of what is happening in your industry and remain positive and have faith in yourself, you will eventually succeed in obtaining the kind of work that you have always wanted. See yourself setting out on a great new adventure and give yourself an opportunity for a fresh new life.

Hope, Loyalty And Sharing

Hope is the expectation of future good and hope always exists within you. Never give up hoping, envisioning, anticipating and believing; fill your mind with eager expectation. Hope allows you to look forward toward your goal in a state of sustained optimism and when teamed with persistence becomes a force that makes it impossible to fail.

When faced with defeat, refuse to give up, stay focused and remain loyal to your goal. Persistence empowers your purpose and develops amazing results. Although loyalty can require courage and firmness of spirit, if you don’t give up it will be impossible for you not to be successful. Despite the 20 disappointments you will have overcome along the way, being loyal to your goal will produce faith in yourself and a strong resolution to succeed.

The way to achieve true happiness and fulfilment in your life is to share and provide value to others without requiring anything in return. The process is very powerful. When you share with others, whether it is goods, knowledge, expertise or wisdom, time or resources, you will never lose; rather, by helping others you will, indirectly, be helping yourself. The way you share is very personal, as each person will do it in their own way. The object is to do it often and make it part of the way you live your life. That way you will grow as a person and it will give you a great quality of life. It is a circle in which the more you give the more you receive and the more you receive the more you are able, and inclined, to give. In the end all parties benefit.

Detour And ‘Thinking Outside The Box’

When failure happens or mistakes occur, don’t give up – look for a detour. Think of your journey as a road trip and failure as a roadblock. You have 3 options. You can turn back and give up completely, you can sit at the roadblock and do nothing, hoping things return to normal soon or you can follow the ‘detour’ sign to your destination, i.e., the successful achievement of your goal. If you are prepared to recognise that in failure there is power for success – a detour available to get you back on track – you will not be discouraged by the failure and you will learn from it.

What kind of thinker are you? Are you rigid, constrained and unimaginative in your thinking; a person who prefers routine, or are you adventurous and innovative and prepared to explore many ideas for solutions to problems? The latter thinkers are those who think ‘outside the box’. They are highly creative, flexible, adaptable and resilient people who are always prepared to learn something new. They are ‘lifelong learners’; people with an inquisitive mind who won’t and don’t give up. The key to success in today’s technologyheavy and fast-changing environment is to keep an open mind and continue learning as fast as you can. Just keep on thinking ‘outside the box’.

Staying power against opposition, obstacles, resistance and rejection is essential if you are to succeed. Difficulties exist and everyone has pressures and problems that can make you want to give up. It takes staying power to overcome those difficulties and the most successful people look for new solutions, find their detour and refuse to give up. Challenges and obstacles will loom in front of you on a regular basis. You have a choice. You can either give in to the challenges, which means you are setting yourself up to fail or you can work out a way to overcome them. If you focus only on the solution, if you remain true to your goal and determine to detour around the challenge, you will overcome any set-backs. Your mind is the only thing in this world that you control. Master it; don’t submit your mind, which has such wonderful possibilities, to any other human being. Persist every day, endure, and you will achieve.